Down the home stretch (w/ a little performance anxiety)

At Week 30, I’m officially rounding third with my eyes set on home plate. Base Coach J is furiously winding his arm, urging me to keep going – slide, dive if I have to. After all, what choice do I really have? This baby can’t stay inside of me forever!

It’s hard to believe that we are three-fourths of the way there, give or take a couple of weeks, but each day it becomes a little more real. I just saw pictures of two babies with whose moms I attended yoga and water fitness just a few months ago. The little boy and girl have already grown so quickly, it’s frightening! And today, J and I go to “meet and greet” Contestant #2 (of 3) in the pediatrician hunt. It is so surreal to be sitting there asking a doctor questions in preparation for a little person that we’ve never even seen! I’ve shelved many of the pregnancy resources I’ve relied on, trading them in for What to Expect the First Year (though I’m sure I’ll need to revisit those initial books regarding labor and delivery!). Our bedroom has even been rearranged to make room for a crib and other miscellaneous baby stuff that we’ve been eyeing. I am so eager to meet this little one – to know what its personality will be like, to see his/her little face, to count those little fingers and toes, and to know whether s/he really plans to be up every night at 2 a.m. (since that is currently one of the baby’s most active times in utero).

Speaking of this kid’s personality, I am going to crack up if s/he turns out to be on the shy side. When we’re home alone, I can elicit responses from the baby when I talk to him/her, play a little jazz or read a book out loud (Our favorite right now is Oh, Baby, the Places You Will Go. I highly recommend it! We may add Hop on Pop to the repertoire this week.). During these times and in times of quiet, I can literally sit back and “watch the show” through the rough jerks and gentle ripples on my belly. But as soon as I call for J’s or Miss A’s attention to feel or watch with me, the baby stops, like s/he knows someone is watching. It is almost without fail! And for New Year’s Eve, Azizah and Khalid were visiting for the weekend. The baby must have heard the unfamiliar voices and retreated with a little stage fright because s/he was more still than s/he’s ever been since I started feeling little twitches back in October. But the minute I returned to the quiet of the bedroom, the action resumed. The baby did seem to join in the countdown fun though – perhaps it was the sparkling red grape juice – but it was short-lived.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being shy, as long as it doesn’t keep you from functioning in life. But I can’t relate; I just don’t know how to urge someone to come out of his/her shell if she doesn’t want to. This baby’s parents aren’t shy and his/her big sister certainly isn’t! The only experience I have to work from is that of the baby’s Auntie T. She was the one who you’d secretly watch singing and dancing in her room, only to have the curtain drop the moment she realized you were there. She hid under the table when “Happy Birthday” was sung in her honor and she used our mom’s leg as a shield to hide from strangers and friends alike. Though I always thought her behavior to be funny, out of place in our family and a little on the odd side, I can’t say that there was anything wrong with it (Not in those respects anyway. Ask me another day about the ice cream cone incident! Ha!) It was just a part of her very broad personality, and if you ask me, she functions quite well in social settings.

But all of this talk is a little premature, I’m sure. We have no idea what this child will be like. Considering the great ultrasound shots we got at 13 and 20 weeks, we could have a little ham on our hands. S/he could be a little chatterbox like his/her parents and big sister. Or the baby could have an unimaginably unique set of traits. We just can’t call it yet. But, what I can say is that no matter what – despite possible middle-of-the night feedings or ridiculously rough bladder kicks or blows to the rib cage or temper tantrums or whether this baby is physically and/or mentally healthy or ill – we will do our best to love him/her unconditionally and support him/her to be the best person s/he can be. I know that not everyday will be easy, but this baby represents our belief in a better tomorrow and a better world, and as parents we are going to have to stay on top of each other to make sure we remember that and nurture our child – even when we are super frustrated and functioning on a combined 0-2 hours of sleep. I am grateful for this little source of hope and I just pray that I can step up to the plate and do what I have to do!

On another note, baby and I are making our first trip “home” to California next week. Aside from the long plane trip, I can’t wait. I’ll be sure to post pictures of the baby “meeting” his/her relatives for the first time. After we return home, I’m on doctor’s orders to stay off of airplanes, so this is our last big hurrah before the big day.

Week 30 developments

Baby's Age: 28 weeks
Baby's length: 10.75 inches, head to rump; 17 inches, head to toe
Weight: 3 lbs

Other developments: The baby's brain is taking a wrinkled look because of the rapid growth. Red blood cell production is now entirely the result of bone marrow. The grooves and indentations of a developed brain are called convolutions. The baby will put on more than a pound of weight this month. The baby's length is about the same as a loaf of bread.